A Real Retired Housewife of Florida

In Plain Sight

Have you watched the show “In Plain Sight” starring Mary McCormack and  Fredreck Weller as two US Marshals working for the Federal Witness Protection Program?  It is one of the shows I have set up on my DVR (and don’t get me started on my love for my DVR).   One mandate when entering the witness protection program is that you can’t participate in activities from your past that would help track you in your new life.  I have often thought I could easily move into a new life without a problem.  Then I realized it would not take long to track me.

How to Find

A Real Retired Housewife of Florida

First place to look is on a golf course.  Just look for a group of ladies hacking the ball down the fairway, laughing while speeding along the fairways and swearing after every missed putt.  This wouldn’t be the easiest way to find me, because there are lots of women who fit that profile.

Next, stake out the local thrift stores.  In Ohio, I knew the staff at the local thrift stores by name.  I am learning the prime spots here in Florida.  A couple of friends have been showing me the routes through nearby cities.  Here are a couple of pictures from my excursions.

Some of the stuff is for my personal collection.  One day I will give a tour of my house and brag about my “trash to treasure” finds.   Other finds are for my alter ego on Ebay, offbeatleaf.  I started in Ebay to build up a balance in PayPal to cover my husband’s motorcycle accessory purchases (okay, I spend some of the money also). 

Then comes crafting.  I am addicted to crafts.  Look for me at Michael’s or JoAnn’s.  I never enter the store without a coupon.  If Martha Stewart does a craft segment (another show I have on my DVR), I am rummaging through my supplies to see if I can make it.  Over Christmas, my Mom and I made these Christmas trees from the Martha Stewart website.  It took a couple of days of planning and gathering the supplies.  Another couple of days of cutting paper, making the base.  My Mom needed 6 trees for a church luncheon.  After 3 trees, we admitted we didn’t like them!  We tried spray painting them, adding glitter…but we still didn't like them.  At least we didn't have any money in them.

Lastly, when someone thinks they found me, there would be no doubt once they entered my home.  Just look for the silver leafed accessories.  It is my way of "marking" my territory.    

I have threatened the cats that if they lay around too long, I just might silver leaf them, too.

Of course, at the end of the show the US Marshalls would catch the bad guys and I could go back to being

A Real Retired Housewife of Florida